Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I'm Baaaaacccccckkkkkk!!!!!

Statue in Ottawa
Often the victim/target/survivor of workplace abuse feels like this statue
geting sh** on
You:
Back?  Back from where ... or what ... you may ask?

Oh yes, you're back blogging ... again.

You've been somewhat erratic in this blogging thing, haven't you?

You start.  Get me reading.  And then the blogs suddenly stop.  Without warning.  For weeks.  Months.

Makes me wonder if you really care about me - your reader.

You get me "hooked" - and then you just take off. 

And then you have the audacity to jump right back into the blog as if nothing had ever happened.  As if you had never left.  Without a word of farewell.

Oh yeah, that's right.  You did kind of ... semi sort of ... give a word of farewell.  At least a temporary one, on your last post when you said you needed a rest.

Who are you?  Rip Van Winkle?

Like how long do you need to rest?

Me: 
 For as long as it takes.  To start getting healthy again.


Oh to be like this young child again
And feel the joy, the wonder of ordinary things
like a balloon

Thus goes an imaginary conversation in my head as I start my first blog post - post rest.  Post a huge chunk of recovery.  Post ...  post whatever has been going on in my life the last few months - and years.

The problem I've found with writing a blog on recovery from workplace abuse is that the recovery is never ending.  It keeps on going.  Sometimes in little baby steps.  Sometimes in bigger steps. Sometimes in a dance step pattern of two steps forward and three steps backward.

Sometimes good.  Sometimes not so good.  Alright.  Sometimes downright bad.

Then there's the daily grind - or I would call it slog.  A bog where the muck is sticky, gluey, making the going hard.  Taking too much energy to even take one step.

Then there's life.

As I've mentioned previously,  life doesn't take a sabbatical or vacation when one is going through workplace abuse or recovering from.

Life goes on.

In my life, that included the death of my mother a year ago.  Further psychiatric injury in the form of a close relative venting at me, taking out all her anger on me.  Another - not so close - relative making my mother's death all about her.  A long trip to bury mom.  A broken wrist.  Job loss of spouse.  And more.  Much more.

All of this takes a toll on the recoveree.   Especially in the realm of energy - which is already severely depleted.

Life events take energy - even good ones.

They all involved stress - even the good ones.

Energy that the recoveree does not have.  Energy the recoveree thinks will never come again.

So, today I come back.

I have a lot to tell.

Good stuff.

Stay tuned for more.

Peace
At least from the outside looking in - or on
A scene from the Isle of Skye, Scotland 2009

God bless each and every one of you who takes the time to read my blog - and especially those who comment.  I hope this helps you on your journey.